The Jerk also known as...Overwhelm!

Calm or chaos? I think we know the answer!

This is a picture of a (partial) stunning view from the top of the gorgeous Arc De Triomphe in Paris. I have had the pleasure of standing at its top; it is an impressive monument that is at the center of 12 radiating avenues.

I am curious…how do you feel when you look at this photo? What rings true for you? Does it remind you of your life? Your Job? Your house? Your family (or just your in-laws, haha!) What about your phone messages, your email inbox, the counter at home with the kids’ school papers on it? The laundry, your to-do list, your kids’ activity calendar, your volunteer commitments? Argh!!!

There is a jerk out there that we have all had the displeasure of meeting…and his name is Overwhelm. This character is the cause of anxiety, frustration, stress, emotional eating, weight gain, lifestyle disease and many other unpleasant things. There are many causes of overwhelm and also many different kinds:

• Loud noises, clutter, smells, bad traffic, chaos (environmental overwhelm)

• Pain or fatigue (physical overwhelm)

• Grief, anger or excitement (emotional overwhelm)

• Events, people, family, gatherings (social overwhelm)

• Too much information or worry (mental overwhelm)

  Sometimes when we feel overwhelmed, we get stuck and cannot step into action. Some of the ways I have felt stuck in the past look and feel like:

• I don’t get enough things done or at least not the right things

• There are too many things on the list that you don’t even know where to start

• Too much clutter in your life or house

• Being unable to determine priorities or not knowing what should be done first

• I am not good enough to do the things I want or need to

  On a scale of 1 - 10, how overwhelmed do you feel right now? Ahhh…now take a deep breath and read on!

The definition of chaos is “complete disorder and confusion”. I have felt plenty of disorder and confusion in my 40 + years! When my kids were 6, 4 and 1, I went back to work after my third maternity leave. Hubby was helpful but working long hours and carpooling to a location out of town each day. So, having your mom return to work is hard enough for those little guys! But at that point, we were also moving. The oldest would go to a new school and the two little ones would go to a new dayhome. I thought, this is so great, new house, new school…a new beginning, so much fun! But alas, we found out that too much newness is just too much sometimes and of course, my return to work did not go that well! The oldest was distressed and cried at school, every day for weeks. He just wanted to go to work with me and so eventually he and the principal worked on projects together until he was comfortable to stay in the class (I loved that guy!) He just wanted to stay home with his little brother and sister and me; 6 years old is still little and we had often put the other two down for a nap and played games together so we BOTH missed that! So that would have been hard enough…but the middle one cried at preschool drop off and then at the dayhome drop off; and the little one cried too, probably because the other two did or she just wanted to stay home too! I had the good fortune of working only three days per week, thinking I would ease into it. But I just got to my office, shut the door and cried every morning. My boss and business owner was a woman and luckily she was understanding; I also had the most incredible colleagues and we have remained close friends, even though we have all moved on to other jobs.

That was just the start of the day, then there was the middle and we all know what the end looks like with little ones…meals, stories, snacks, bathtime. I loved every minute of it and miss those days terribly but Overwhelm was definitely present then, how could it not be? Raising little ones is so much responsibility and I didn’t want to screw it up (or them)! Add a little perfectionist layer on there too and WHAMO…Overwhelm! I wish I had the information and skills that I do now…but thankfully my coping skills have evolved over time. It turns out that love is what you need most and all the other details don’t need to be perfect. Mistakes make you real and teach the example that we don’t need to get it all right all the time. What a great lesson! The kids won’t even know, or anyone else for that matter, it is just the story we tell ourselves sometimes. So “who cares!” (to quote my Scottish buddy), we are not living anyone else’s “highlight reel” (to quote my nephew!)

Speaking of evolving, I thought I would share some of my favorite ways to help me thrive (better now, not so good then!) when I feel overwhelmed. Here are my 10 favorite…they are easy, inexpensive and they work!

1. Breathing deeply!

2. Moving (running, a fitness class, etc.)

3. Laughing

4. Walking Barkley (my sweet little golden doodle!)

5. Date night with spouse

6. Hanging with my friends

7. Anything with the kids…going to their games, watching movies or playing games (my fav!)

8. Cooking

9. Reading

10. Last but not least…sharing information with you!

Doing these things creates space for pleasure in my life and opens up possibilities to kick overwhelm to the curb! But you might wonder and ask yourself…that is all great, but how do I actually get things done?

Sometimes we might just have unrealistic expectations…

Here are 5 simple actions that you can take in order to start to step out of overwhelm and into action:

1. Create a list! Put a star next to the top three things on that list that you would like to get done in the near future (< 30 days). Highlight or circle the item you wish to complete most.

2. Ask yourself why that item is the most important to you and write that down in a place where you can see it, easily and often.

3. Determine which day in the next 7 days you can create space for that ONE item and put it in your calendar on that day.

4. Say NO to something during that same period and DO THAT ONE THING. It is easy to get stuck in the daily routine and do the same things over and over. However, we know that “if we want something different, we have to DO something different!” Letting go of something to make room for something else is very powerful.

5. Breathe deeply and celebrate! Go to the mirror and say, “I am proud of you!”…until you mean it! When you celebrate what you have done, it opens doors in order to do and have more of THAT. It is true that “we are all winning the game we are playing” (Health Coach Institute) and if we play the game of joy, gratitude and celebration, that is what we will inevitably have more of in our lives!

   And THIS…will translate into getting things done, one small step at a time!

   The same approach is true with your health! If you would like to step into action in order to create the change you desire for yourself and your body, I will support you to take that action and avoid staying stuck! We will create opportunities for you to reduce stress, increase your energy and lose weight by taking action in a way you might not have done in the past. Reach out to me on my Contact tab if this is something you want for your health and your life. Take care of yourself FIRST…what’s the best thing that could happen?

Wrapping Up the Health & Wellness Expo experience!

The Expo this weekend was a tremendous success and so much fun! Other exhibitors were kind, professional, and so knowledgeable about the information that they shared with me! The attendees were enthusiastic, interested and curious about their health and I loved meeting you all! Thank-you for the many conversations about you and about me, I appreciated every one of them!

So, what you probably really want to know is: who won all the draws? Here they are:

Cleanse entry winner from day one: Gail S.

Cleanse entry winner from day two: Tiago M.

Cleanse entry winner from day three: M.J P.

Rush Tickets winner: Sheldon Y

Coaching package winner: Maureen M

CONGRATULATIONS to you all!!!

I will be calling each of you by Monday evening and look so forward to working with you! For those of you that were not drawn unfortunately, I would like to offer you a ” 25% off coupon” for either a cleansing opportunity or for a coaching experience. If you provided your email to me, I will email it, or else, you can access a coupon on my website later in the week!

Thank-you to all of you for your time and interest in me, my booth and my services! I will send you other additional, fun information from my company as it is posted - an article, recipe or other programs details that might be interesting for you!

I wish you all the very best in your health journey. Stay curious…you know yourself and your body best and there is no one that experiences things in their health exactly the way you do. Being positive about your health doesn’t mean that everything will always be ok, but rather that you will be ok, no matter how things turn out. But, we can be better than ok…we can strive for better health than yesterday by creating space for new experiences, ideas, food options, movement, relaxation, gratitude and fun!

Smile at or laugh with someone today, it really is good medicine!

With gratitude and love,

Nicholle

The Joy of the Season?

Is this JUST Clark at Christmas? Or does anyone else sometimes feel this way?

Is this a joyful time of year for you? Are you running around, buying Black Friday sale items, looking for Cyber Monday deals, buying more sugar, flour and butter than you do the other 11 months of the year combined in order to bake your buns off, then eating all of said baked items in an unreasonable period of time, maybe even before Christmas? Are you fitting every social event possible with every person you’ve ever known into the month of December, getting the perfect family picture taken and then shipping it off, while trying to think of the perfect gift for everyone? Or is this just me, lol? Ahhhh……

But seriously…what a magical time of year!

I love the beautiful lights and displays - downtown, at the mall, and in my own house each morning and evening.

I love my husband’s Christmas party with the amazing and talented staff - we drink drinks, play games, and laugh for hours.

I love watching my favorite holiday movies over and over again each year and feeling like it’s the first time, every time!

I love listening to children sing at this time of year, especially my own kids. This really melts my heart!

I love our family traditions of sharing beautiful meals and stories and staying in touch over the years with our extended family and neighbors.

I really love seeing people at their best and giving to those who don’t have what they do - with generous hearts and without judgement.

Of course, we also know that it can be a very sad and maybe even lonely time of year…

…for our friend who lost his mom and dad in the space of 12 days this year;

…for another friend making multiple trips out of province for a sick child waiting for surgery where none of it is covered by the system;

…for my mom, when we go to the candlelight celebration each year at the funeral home to honor my dad;

…for our neighbors whose daughter has suffered excruciatingly and endlessly due to nerve pain resulting from dental work;

…for my family who lost my mom’s eldest sister, Norma, this summer…a very special lady in our hearts and lives;

…for those struggling with their health and feeling so stuck, they don’t know where to turn and what could possibly help them at this point;

…for those who have lost their faith, their jobs, their marriage, or anyone they love.

It can, however, also be a very hopeful, reflective and peaceful time.

I am definitely hopeful and reflective during this time of year, but peaceful? Jeepers…how does this work with multiple jobs, a husband that works long hours, kids in many activities, pets, grandparents, friends, parties, the gym, groceries, laundry and all of those baked goodies just calling out to us everywhere we look?

I find that when I focus on what I do have and do accomplish, rather than what I don’t have or isn’t done, I see possibilities rather than limitations. I have a grateful heart, rather than an envious, anxious or resentful one.

Wayne Dyer said it most eloquently…

But how do we start to feel and appreciate that abundance…

…when we feel frustrated, anxious, sad or lonely? How do we get more of what we love and want in our life? The same is true for our health…how do we get more good health in our life, if that’s what we want? What does good health even mean?

We might be frustrated with our current health situation…our stress, energy level or weight, but we can choose to focus on something we have an abundance of right now…and that is our capability.

Our ability to choose is never diminished. We can choose to acknowledge that being stuck, getting started and moving forward is sometimes hard and sometimes sucks. And then we can choose…the right system, support and accountability to help celebrate what we are fully capable of doing. We can have abundance in our health, one small step at a time.

So, as 2019 comes to a close, try this out…whatever ignites your spark, do more of that, joyfully! This is my mantra for 2020. What is yours?

So whatever you celebrate this season…

a blessed Christmas honoring the birth of Jesus, a beautiful holiday, a wonderful family gathering, or just a break from routine to watch the Price is Right, Ellen and Dr. Phil each day, let that be an opportunity to focus on your own joyful abundance because I know this to be true…we grow more of what we celebrate!

Happy Holidays to you and all those you love!

We Remember.

Today, we honor, pray for and most of all, offer our deepest gratitude to those in the armed forces who have served our country, and their families. To every man and woman who has laid down their life or who is currently serving, we thank you. This day is always an opportunity for me to really connect thoughtfully with the good fortune I have because so many brave people went before me. These are our heroes - our grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, sons, daughters and friends - whatever branch of the military they participated in and whatever their role, we remember and proudly salute them today for their constant pursuit of peace.

Remembrance Day has always been deeply meaningful for me and my family. We have spent every remembrance day celebrating with thousands from Saskatoon that gather at our large arena. My mom and dad always looked forward to spending this time together with my sister and I. I can’t remember a time growing up that we didn’t attend Remembrance Day ceremonies. And our kids have attended ever since they were born as well. It is a time to be with and thank all of the veterans, of all ages, who have served all over the world, as they march in together. It is so moving and such an honor to be in their company. But sadly, there has actually been one time that our family didn’t attend.

Today, I also honor my personal hero. My father passed away in the early morning hours of Remembrance Day, 2006. I remember it so vividly. My dad had not been feeling well that year due to a number of different factors. 30 or 40 years ago when our parents were our age, some of them didn’t make the same lifestyle choices or have the same good information that we have now - about smoking, food, movement, etc. I wish I had been in the position I am now… to gently support him in his health challenges because I think there might have been an opportunity for his health to improve. But it was not to be.

My husband and I were with our good friends at their acreage on the evening of November 10. We didn’t track each other on our cell phones 13 years ago like we do today, but my sister happened to know where we were going that night. So, when my mom took my dad to the hospital emergency where he had his first heart attack requiring CPR, she called my sister at home and she knew just where to reach me. That call from my sister came exactly at 8:00 PM. So, in 5 minutes, we packed up the kids and headed to the hospital because we knew it was serious.

When we arrived at the hospital at 9:00 PM, my dad had been revived. He was taken to the Intensive Care Unit and seemed relatively stable. I had known by this point, that he had had chest compressions for several minutes in Emergency, but I was still endlessly hopeful that this was not his time. So my mom, our family and my sister’s family were all there and we were trying to decide what to do. We decided that my kids would go home with their dad, my sister would take her kids home (together, we had 5 under 8) and I would stay with my mom. My sister would then come back when the kids were settled in bed.

Dad was barely aware but he could still respond with sounds and hand squeezing, so he knew we were there. Mom and I were visiting with him and talking about many different things when all of a sudden his blood pressure started to drop quickly. All the monitors rang and immediately, he was receiving lots of loving care from many people. My mom had nursed at this hospital for 45 years so she felt very at home there. That is the only thing that felt comfortable at this point. Seeing the doctors and nurses work so hard to try to save him for the next 20 minutes was excruciating but yet I wanted it to go on and never have to say goodbye. Unfortunately, he passed in the early morning hours of November 11, before my sister could return. I had never felt that level of profound sadness before.

I am thankful now that I can spend every Remembrance Day feeling close to him and reliving all of the wonderful things he added to my life. In celebrating this man today, I remember his kindness, respect and love for all things, big and small. I honestly don’t ever remember him saying anything negative about anyone or anything…honestly! He had three women in his house, constantly telling him what to do, and he would just smile and love us more. When I was on my maternity leaves, he would come over in the mornings and play with the babies on the carpet. He grew up in very, very difficult conditions but was able to overcome them and demonstrate a most wonderful love to us all.

However and for whoever you Remember today, that is the best way for you. There is a gift in this day and in all of our loss or sadness - the opportunity to remember and live hopefully. For me, today and every Remembrance Day that follows, I celebrate kindness, sacrifice and pursuit of peace. I honor all those that have put others before themselves and gave their lives so that we may live in freedom. Thank-you to that tremendous role model that was my father, for being the kindest, most generous man I have ever known. And thank-you to all of those role models that have served and continue to serve - for their leadership, resilience, and calm in peacekeeping or defense of our country - to protect all that we value.

Mindful Eating... so what is that all about?

WHAT is Mindful Eating?

You know, I have read about extensively, discussed and practiced many different aspects of “mindful eating” and I have come to some conclusions. It doesn’t have to be difficult and it can be really beneficial (bordering essential!) and even fun…ah, love it!

It really means the following 5 things to me:

• Choosing whole foods or those nearest to their natural or original state.

  • The foods that just came out of the garden fall into this category!

• Eating foods with a simple list of ingredients, not a long, complicated list of things we don’t even recognize!

  • For example, most ingredients that end in “ose” are ones to stay away from. That likely means those items might have had extra “processing” and decreased nutritional content as a result.

• Choosing foods that create a colorful “rainbow plate”!

  • The more colorful the plate, the more wide range of vitamins and nutrients we are likely in taking.

• Using all of our senses to eat!

  • This is the part where our body is more able to absorb the vitamins and nutrients we are in taking from that rainbow plate above!

• Finally and maybe most importantly…being curious about how our food choices feel in our body and what happens when we eat certain things.

  • This is the part where we think about and observe how we feel after we eat. Do we feel bloat, nausea, indigestion? Do we feel like we overate, or maybe get a headache after? Do we have difficult or irregular bowel movements?

WHY is it important to consider what and how we eat? Well…

• Eating foods that do not line up with those 5 things above might result in eating foods high in sugar, sodium, saturated fat, trans fats, and cholesterol.

• Eating too much of those foods over a long period of time can lead to lasting health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and obesity.

• These types of health problems can ultimately decrease our energy, inhibit our desire or ability to move, socialize or generally feel good about ourselves.

In his book “FOOD What the Heck Should I Eat? “ (one of my favs!), Dr. Mark Hyman, best-selling author and nutrition researcher for 35 years, said right at the beginning, “What you put on your fork is the most important thing you do every day. It influences your capacity to live a rich, energetic, connected, soulful life - a life in which you have the energy to care for yourself, to love your friends and family, to help your neighbor, to fully show up for your work in the world, and to live your dreams.” WOW. What else is there?

WHERE do I go with this now, you might wonder?

It can be difficult to know where to start. You might be asking or telling yourself:

• I do not have time to even contemplate this!

• Where would I even start?

• How do I start? Is making a grocery list enough?

• When is the best time to do this?

• No one in my house will buy into this!

• Who should I ask for help?

• Where do I go?

• Will I like this if I try it?

• Will my family eat any of things I try?

• What if I suck at this?

• Will this ever get easier?

HERE IS THE GOOD NEWS!!!

Sometimes it is difficult to get started, even when we know what we might like to try and why it is good for us! Have you ever painted in your house? I have. Most rooms, sometimes multiple times. And wow, it looks great when it is done but it is a lot of frickin’ painful preparation sometimes. This is another example of the old 80/20…where buying the supplies, washing the walls, sanding and filling the holes and taping everything in sight (if you paint like me!) takes 80% of the time and the actual painting itself takes 20%!

However, the good news here is three things:

1. You are here! You are interested and curious about what’s possible.

2. Support is available so that you don’t have to figure this out on your own!

3. You don’t have to break the bank to get started or continue, either!

HOW do I start:

This song by Brothers Osbourne seems amusing on the surface…an excerpt from it goes like this…

“Blame the ex for the drinkin' , blame the drinkin' for the ex…

But it ain’t my fault, no, it ain’t my fault.”

Sometimes, we feel blame or shame about what we have done in the past and where we feel we might have failed, and it keeps us stuck. It might prevent us from taking that first step forward again. But here, there is NO fault! There is no blame, shame or deprivation involved in getting curious about your health. What if the opposite is true? Maybe it is truly a gift that you are giving yourself… to be considering what’s possible…right in this moment. The present is the exact right time!

The choices we made in the past might have served us well then… but we can choose something different now. We don’t have to tell ourselves the same story we once did.

You can see above that I sometimes reflect on the lyrics of great songs! So…if you are ever looking for inspiration, you can do what I do… turn to a good rock band (preferably from the 80’s!) , and in my case, a good Canadian rock band, haha! Trooper released a song in 1978 called “Raise a Little Hell” and in it, the lyrics read:

If you don't like
What you got
Why don't you change it
If your world is all screwed up
Rearrange it

If you don't like what you see
Why don't you fight it
If you know there's something wrong
Why don't you right it

Well, if it was that simple, we would all have done it already…on our own!

It is not always simple, but together, we can work towards what you most want for your health. AND, we can take small steps towards eating more mindfully… that will make it fun and easy! As a health coach, I have a great system and offer loving support for you, as you get curious about your health. Then together, we can step into different action than you might have been taking in the past in order to have a different outcome than you might have had in the past. It is completely possible for you to feel, have and be what is most precious to you - in love with yourself and feeling great at the same time!

Ass-uming...thankfully

Have you ever heard that super old cliché and I’m sure you have: “When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me”? Have you ever made an assumption that you were so sure was accurate at the time…but it turned out that it really had no basis in reality or truth?  In other words, it was complete crap but you were quite comfortable telling yourself that story anyway?

I am a fairly new fitness instructor and I am so passionate about this full body workout that I teach because it has worked so great for my body!  So, of course, as a new instructor, I want to connect with my participants and I want them to have the maximum enjoyment in the class. As their teacher, I feel somewhat responsible for their fun and their desire to return! 

I was scheduled to sub for another teacher and I showed up one morning, so enthusiastic to take her place.  When I arrived, the only participant who had arrived by that point, said “Oh, is XXX not here today?” And I said “No, she is away and I am really excited to be with you in her place!”.  Then I asked “Do you attend XXX’s class regularly?” and she replied “Yes, I follow her to different facilities and she is my favorite instructor.”  And I said, “Oh that’s wonderful, she is really great, I hope you have fun today too!”.  Then, she walked away and started to set up her stuff, but I thought she seemed disappointed.

The workout lasts 60 minutes in total and we were about 15 minutes in. At that point, I turned away to adjust the music and when I looked back to where she had been, her equipment was put away and she was gone.  Of course, I was disappointed and the story I told myself was that, “I was probably not measuring up to the other instructor, or the standard, or whatever else was better than me and maybe I just wasn’t that good. ” 

I have been a bit of a lifelong perfectionist (and quite far from perfect at anything!) but I have practiced in recent years, trading perfection for presence.  So, here I was…present!  The class finished 45 minutes later but that departure had kind of thrown me off a little; I did, however, get back on track and finished strong (or strong for a fairly new instructor!)

Two days later, I was subbing at another facility for this same instructor, who was still away.  I got there about 20 minutes early and there was a class in the workout room, right before mine, and right up until mine, so I waited outside on the sofas.  Would you believe, this same early departing person, was actually the second to arrive, just she…and me!  First reaction: how awkward!  Second reaction: maybe she is actually a nice person, lol. I hesitated a few moments just thinking of the right thing to start the conversation and then I noticed she was slowly moving over toward my sofa.  So, she saddles up beside me and actually sits on the arm of my sofa and I am thinking, “wow, this is interesting”.   

Then she says, “You taught at the other facility, right? You taught a good class the other day”.  Shocked!  I am thinking “how odd, you didn’t really do too much of it, how could you tell?”  But she went on to say “It’s really good when other instructors sub and we see different styles, I really like that and you were doing great!”  Then we went on to talk about other types of movement that she does and had an overall lovely conversation!  I did not ask what took her away from my class two days ago and she did not elaborate.  She did stay for this class and seemed to thoroughly enjoy it! 

 And, you know, it doesn’t really matter why.  Because ultimately, it had nothing to do with ME.  Maybe she really didn’t like my style and wanted to leave but was now feeling bad about how it looked and wanted me to feel better now?  Or maybe she got some news on her phone during the class that caused her to have to leave quickly?  Or, maybe she wasn’t feeling well that day or was injured and thought rest was more important than that class, at that moment?

All of those things she was doing and possibly feeling,  I was somehow owning and worse yet, trying to decipher.  What an “AHA” moment for me this entire episode was!  Here is what became very clear to me then and now:

1. What she felt and/or did is OK for her!  She can and should make whatever choices she wishes for herself, without judgement of those around her.  Maybe she rethought her choice to leave and now wanted to give my style a second chance? Or not! Either way, it is not my choice to make or my feel to feel and has no impact on my teaching ability or ability to reach other participants.

2. While it is important for participants to enjoy the class, it is an unrealistic expectation that my style will be just like the other instructor or appeal to absolutely everyone. We can teach the same material but have a completely different delivery style, and that is OK too. What if the opposite were true, that diversity in teaching styles was a gift to the participants?

3. Someone else showing me appreciation feels good but not as good as me believing in myself and my gifts.  Being proud of what I do, confident in how I do it, and believing in who I am is something that I and everyone else deserves. A brilliant motivational speaker, Dr. Sean Stephenson, once said, “we don’t have to put our glow on low, to make others feel comfortable.” And we don’t have to glow low because we think we are not good enough either!

4. It is important to celebrate what we do have vs. what we don’t.  It is true that what we appreciate, appreciates!  So when I focused on the amazing and grateful participants that remained, that gratefulness is what I was full of, rather than disappointment that ONE departed early.

So, on Thanksgiving weekend, I sit, write and think gratefully about that experience, what it taught me and how much there is to appreciate around us, most of all, ourselves. Happy Thanksgiving to you and those you love!